Silence is medicine

Hello!

I heard the voice of my soul last week. It came from the deepest part of me and surfaced like how bubbles do in water. I've had flashes of moments where I've heard my soul, but this was crystal clear.

I also received a question around how to hold the light when you see spiritual leaders sharing messages rooted in separation or darkness. (Thank you for asking me!)

P.S. I mentioned Kellie Cottrill in this episode who is trained in Rosen Method Bodywork and I wanted to share her magic with you.

Transcript

 Hello, hello! I have so many things I want to share with you today, and I'm like, okay, how many things, how many things can I actually cover?  First and foremost, if you hear anything in the background, that's Nikolai. Nikolai is home from work earlier than anticipated, which is wonderful. And also, he's watching some sort of movie or something, and then the cat, Fern, he's in here, and sometimes he wants to escape and make noise about it, so if you hear a little brrr, uh, that's him. 

And then if you hear any scratching on the door, I apologize, that's my other cat, Knox, trying to force his way in as he does. So I'm just going to say in advance, so sorry, if I'm rambly, so sorry, my entire meditation got interrupted today, but it was on purpose. So as I was 12 minutes in, I Had heard all this commotion, all this noise, or whatever,  and I, I started getting a little bit frustrated because I started finding that spaciousness in my body where there's silence.

You know, it took 12 minutes, man. I was like, woohoo! I'm here! And then I hear all these things, and this internal frustration started bubbling up inside of me, and I heard this voice that I have only recently  which is from a story I can't wait to tell you, but I heard this voice come inside of me just like from the depths of my heart up and it said, there will never be a good time.

Um, but you still find the time and I'm like, okay, there will never be a good time to try and create spaciousness within myself, but I can do it at any moment and I can decide that this is when I'm going to do it. Or this two minutes counts towards me finding my balance and center again. And the reason why I, Oh my God, it was one 44 when I said that, yes, one 44 side note, there's been like a lot of, uh, messaging around people who are, Or in the spiritual new age community around the 144, 000 souls here on the planet to help uplift the planet's energy towards ascension and I don't they I don't like the messaging of it because they say the 144, 000 chosen ones You'll know if you're a chosen one if you go through xyz and here's the thing everyone's actually a chosen one because you Chose to be here and you were chosen to be here with your specific energetic frequency And the gifts and the masks, oh my god, I said That's the 222 mark.

222 is balance  and harmony and trust in faith. Oh gosh, this is so great. Thank you for listening.  Uh, but the 144 is a frequency to hold within you. It's not about being the chosen one because we all are, but. It's holding the frequency of love, compassion, forgiveness, and unity. So, um, oh, where do I even want to start?

Actually, let me start with this. I posted this on Instagram, but I know not everyone follows me on Instagram, or it's not, like, your platform of choice. Uh, so I thought I would share this with you, because, you know, I think everyone should hear it.  Okay.  Oh, whoa, alright. Alright, here we are. Here we are. Just relax.

Take a deep breath in.  Exhale a little more slowly.  If you could take in another deep inhale in, but you know, that breath lets your lower belly expand. 

Then exhale out slowly, deeply.  Finding just a little bit more clarity, a little bit more ease.  That's right.  And if you could take in just another slow, deep inhale in. 

Allowing your chest to expand now,  and exhale out, releasing anything from the day,  anything you're carrying.  Perfect.  I'd love for you to just let this  land,  like a tiny little seed planted in the center of your heart,  knowing that it will bloom exactly when it is meant to.  You incarnated on Earth during a time of monumental transformation,  because it was decided that this is where you could be of highest service as an embodied light being. 

You, you could have gone anywhere in the cosmos and yet you chose to be ground crew.  You also knew, as a soul, how profound of an evolution it would be to alchemize this level of darkness and density into love and expansion.  You were chosen.  You chose this experience.  Remember who you are.  You are light in form, on sacred ground. 

I wanted to share that with you because it's a transmission.  It's a calling to remember that at the core of your being you are  A literal source,  as you know, I've said, a source of God, of the whole, of the creator. And right now it's really heavy on earth because we're going through a purge process energetically as everyone is lightening their beings and the way that you go about doing that is by having a lot of compassion and grace and forgiveness for yourself, to allow yourself to integrate the parts and pieces of you who, who struggles.

And is cruel to yourself or the ways that you keep yourself small or doubt or living in lack or scarcity Any of these things the way that you judge others is a reflection of the judgment you hold within yourself, right? Because Your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference at a deep level between real and imagination which is why it's so critical to pay attention to the people that you judge or the actions that you judge and allowing yourself To see that maybe there's a piece of you inside of them  So, I also got a note on this message,  and I loved it, and I wanted to speak to it, because I'm also seeing this in the spiritual spaces. 

I ask from a place of true sincerity, but what happens when what you're seeing is so many people who believe they are the lightworkers that work in these fields and speak of trauma and ascension and healing and 5D and everything else, and yet They are most likely part of the darkness because they still believe in human constructs that support, amplify, and at times even applaud otherism and human hierarchy.

And so I wanted to share this only because it's my perspective and also, uh, One of the things that we're learning and navigating is true discernment. And how do you discern between truth and what you're being told? And that's why it's really tricky to be paying attention to media, because media is extremely biased, right?

If you don't know that, hi.  One of the things in school when I was, uh, getting my degree and trying to decide what I wanted to major in was journalism, because I thought it would be really cool to share stories and, you know,  Obviously, because I love writing, but one of the core things that they teach you is if it bleeds, it leads, and that is, that's the way journalism works right now, is how sensational, how clickbaity, how can I get you to pay attention to this, and then deliver you specific information, and then knowing, like, as an example, What you pay attention to and consume you are shaping your subconscious mind with, which is why it's really, really, really tricky depending on certain news sources when they're actually entertainment and not informational,  but it's pitched to you and shaped in a way to make you believe everything and consume it.

Bye. We're actually learning how to discern and how do you discover what is truth for you and I can't tell you that and any person out here in the spiritual spaces or coaching or personal development, they can't tell you that no one can tell you because this is the process of you of discovering who you are and learning who you are and refining your ability to hear your own soul's voice right but the process for me  Is that I listen to my heart, because I listen to what feels like truth to me, what feels like fear, what feels like something's just not all the way clicked into place.

Like, what, where are the questions that I have? So,  for this Again, just take whatever I say as just, just as an observer, like never, ever, ever, ever, ever, please ever take anything that I tell you or anyone else tells you as pure fact or truth. And in fact, think about how, like, if you disagree with me, amazing.

Why? Like, refine your thought processes so that you can feel empowered and confident in what you have. To share and also knowing that if you come to me and you disagree, please tell me more about how I can expand in love and how maybe something I said resonated or didn't re didn't resonate. Because at the end of the day, this is the only thing I wanna do is expand in love.

That's all like, that's really truly all I want. I want, I want me, myself, and also everyone around me to expand in deeper levels of loving consciousness. Okay, there we go. So.  I would say that for people that we see out here who are preaching from spiritual spaces about, um, you know, maybe there is hierarchy or applauding otherism or human constructs, right?

And they're going to do that. And partially, we We don't. We share what we know or we share from the resources that we have available, right? So it's it can be tricky when you're the observer and you're seeing all these things and then not diving into it and making it mean anything about you or reflecting anything if you're judging then the judgment is a gift giving you an opportunity to see where do you Not feel aligned or where are you judging negatively versus just observing and seeing what's happening  But I, and this is my own thing, okay,  and this may not be well received, but I truly believe that every single person on earth right now is a master.

I believe that every single person is here for a very specific reason if they, even if they don't remember it, right? I believe that because people are powerful, that in the process of them leading themselves to certain people who may not be of the highest Good of all who may not be of highest loving consciousness and or whatever that is You will always be guided to where you're meant to heal And so if you follow and I've done this I've worked with people Where once I was in their space like the marketing was really well, but once I was in their space, I was not resonant I did not agree with how like coaching facilitation calls were held I didn't agree and I felt like I had something, something of value to share, and yet people wouldn't listen to me or they wouldn't, uh, take my word because they didn't pay me to hear my perspective, even if my perspective was more loving, more, or I had more experience, or more training, or I understood from a deeper subconscious level,  and that's okay because, and that's okay because, While I wasn't the top, the pinnacle of whatever this program is, I learned how specifically I would hold something differently.

So when I ran up my program called Devotion for three years, um, it was actually something that I had to decondition myself from because I held coaching calls and people would come, but I felt so conflicted on being the number one person that people would listen to and like listening to my advice and my guidance because you're paying to be here to listen to me.

But on the flip side of that is every person in my community is divine. Every person in my community is a powerhouse human being with wisdom and misaligned by not opening the space to have other people share their wisdom or to connect in a deeper, more meaningful way with with their peers, you know, with my peers, because that's really what it is.

I wanted to create a community where everyone was one and equal and everyone brought their specific gifts, but it took me probably two years to decondition everything that I've seen and from the spaces that I was in because I was like, well, is it as meaningful for people or are they listening? Are they taking action?

And then I had to remember, well, actually everyone is powerful,  like just period. Full stop. That's what it is. It's not about me. It's about us. That's also the age of Aquarius. So  coming back to this  Knowing that people are sharing, you know content and their standing in ways that maybe you don't agree with because it's not about unity and wholeness, but if everyone is  Impowered and powerful, then we trust the evolution of their soul will happen in divine timing if it is what they wish. 

That's just all it is. Like people have free will and you can't bend their free will. You just can't. And so if you see, and this is what I'm practicing,  if you see people out there who you're not aligned with or you disagree with their message or their thought processes or how they do anything, then The best thing that you can do is be an embodied example.

The way that you live your life and who you are, even when no one is watching, is the key. And this is such a fascinating thing to think about because  Like, I was actually talking to my mom about this, but it's just so funny because I've seen videos of people who said they wouldn't allow Jesus Christ into the United States of America and yet they're Christian.

And they said, well, if he followed the perfect protocols and, you know, followed all the steps and everything, and I'm like, this is such a nuanced thing and layered because he is your quote unquote Messiah, your savior. And yet you wouldn't allow him into your country with borders that we made up? Like, that's so funny! 

And also, I understand because of the way that beliefs are. Beliefs, they are ingrained within you and you are brainwashed through specific tactics, through the way that things are communicated, through the body language, everything that helps reinforce subconscious beliefs that we're seeing on, on at least in the United States on both sides.

It's fascinating to watch from an observer perspective because you're seeing how they're manipulating energy and manipulating words and using specific images and all this stuff. It's just fascinating. So much so that people who grew up in this specific religion wouldn't allow. They're, they're savior in which is like,  what? 

And if you think about it even further, actually Jesus Yeshua  represents  so, so many things we're striving towards. Unconditional love, forgiveness, compassion, um, taking care of your neighbor and yourself, right? Like it's just, these are the things that he embodies. Embodied, um, all of it actually, but like he embodied these things and that's how he had the following that he did and he was hated for it.

People were afraid of him for it so much so that they decided to put him on a cross, you know, like  knowing that that was a fear based thing to keep people  Operating from lower levels of consciousness because what happens when you're living in love and living from love and living as love People start to harmonize that frequency that you're radiating and emanating from your heart into the quantum field What happens when people are living in love and compassion and they understand that together we're stronger what happens then?

You know people start thinking This hierarchy and power structure doesn't align with me and that we actually have more people in power together when we choose to work together and to love each other and to care for one another. That's how we can make  the moves that are needed for the entire world to change.

But that requires us to go first. And that's a confronting thing is to live your values out loud and to lead yourself in a specific type of way where you are walking in integrity with the truth of your heart and soul.  That doesn't make it any easier, but I'm just saying, if you kept these ideas in your mind, that you lived from your truth and your integrity and you lived from your heart and you took time for yourself to heal your wounds and your shadows and the things that cause trauma in your life.

If you allowed yourself to look at where you judge or where you react instead of respond out of fear, anger, you know, old wounds, and you start integrating those pieces, those fractals into your wholeness, you live life differently and you treat people differently and it's from these places, I swear to you, my friend, I swear to you, that is where miracles exist because miracles are a frequency of love.

That's where they, it's That's where you can see them, right? And so knowing that it's like, okay, every person is a person of power. And even if I disagree with how they're living, how they're speaking, how they're treating people, again, there's still a creator within them. That's also. witnessing me. And maybe all it takes is for you to live in your heart and to be, even if you're around them, holding the space, but in silence, or maybe it is following your intuition and taking inspired action and speaking your truth.

Right.  But for this, um, for my friend who reached out to me, I just loved it because I'm like, people are in power no matter what, you know, and, um, how can you walk with integrity? And then.  I also wanted to say, I'm partially bringing this up because the deeper that we move into the age of Aquarius, and I could be totally wrong, who knows, but I'm going to tell you the reality that I'm creating because I'm a co creator of my reality, and I'm going to choose the future from which I want to live in now through my higher conscious perspective, right?

So knowing you're a co creator.  And knowing I am, like, what is the version of the world that you wish to live in, and who do you have to be in order to live there? If you want to live in a place that's like this now, then keep being and aligning with certain actions and things like that to continue this. 

I want to live in a world where people have more time to live their lives, where they can play, and where they have community, and where their food isn't poisoning them, and where we treat people with compassion and grace, and we give them support and resources and tools to help them live a life that's more aligned with their soul, because everyone here truly is a gift, we just have forgotten, or we've been trained that they're not, because of what, whatever the bullshit narrative is,  But as we move, um, deeper into the age of Aquarius, people with heart based intentions are going to be our leaders. 

They're going to be the ones that we turn to because we know that they live in integrity, right? So, who are the people with heart based intentions and how or who? Maybe that's you, right? Maybe that's why you're listening to me because this is what I stand for. But it's like leading in light knowing that. 

Energy speaks volumes, even if you can't see it immediately with your physical eyes, right? We are all harmonizing frequencies throughout the cosmos, even if you can't see it. So many things are happening in your life that you cannot see that are being divinely orchestrated. So just like  again What is the version of Earth you want to live on and who do you have to be?

Who are you being invited to be, right? Like,  how can you act and live in alignment with that version of you knowing that love is the, love is the answer? Love is it. That's all. Like, great.  But then also knowing like Everyone has free will to dictate their own personal evolutionary journey and just saying like Not everyone is going to want to move into this next phase of the earth Because and you may sound like what the fuck how what?

Why wouldn't people want to go live in a place where there's more equality and where people are thriving and stuff?  but  Just think about this  Earth, in spiritual spaces, and from many channelers that I follow, have said that this is one of the hardest schools in the cosmos to attend because of our willingness to go to such darkness and density. 

Because we live with atrocious behaviors. We live with people willing to murder each other over something like a border, you know? We have people in place who are actively trying to poison other people through our food systems. We're having companies and corporations try to monetize water and things like that.

That which make no sense, right?  And  contrast the shadow to light is where our power is. But we're not taught that. We're taught to fear the darkness. But why do you think that is? Because we're taught to fear ourselves. We're taught. To believe that we're small and insignificant and unworthy and yet the darkness our ability to heal our shit And our willingness to look at our wounds and to see maybe things from a different maybe  to see Oh, my words.

To see things from a higher, more loving perspective for why things happen the way they do, they help you alchemize the darkness into light. Because, like, darkness is just light inverted. It is this space of possibility. Why do you think that seeds grow in the darkness, or why babies grow in the womb?

birds, dark and cozy, you know, like it's in the darkness where our power is found, but we're taught not to do that. We're just taught to fear and to run away and to numb and suppress. And yet that's, that's where the magic is because that's where possibility is, you know, like  we would see stars, but could we actually see them without the darkness of the sky?

They burn brighter because of that. Contrast. And so souls will come here. You also, congratulations, were chosen to be here. You were chosen. Like, it's like winning the lottery to be here. And you wouldn't, most people wouldn't believe that because of how hard it is. And yet your soul knew.  Your soul knew exactly what you could bring specifically through your perfect technology of a body By blending and weaving in all the lessons all of the magic all of your gifts.

That's you that you have Received and sharpened and refined through lifetimes Lifetimes we have the opportunity in this specific incarnation to reach enlightenment through our physical bodies.  Do you understand? You have been working towards this and your ancestors have been working towards this for so long.

That's why we're having so many solar flares and why if you've read anything even in the bible about the three days of darkness like that is a prophecy the prophecy of the white buffalo like  There's so many things happening that's trying to tell us like we're on the precipice of a massive shift And so with like the solar flares and me talking about enlightenment of your body This is at a pivotal time where you are being Invited to sit with yourself and to see what comes through in the silence.

What are the things that your brain is telling you? Are you actively trying to run away from issues or challenges or struggles? Are you numbing out? Are you scrolling your life away? Are you reacting to people when you're in traffic? Are you short tempered with people? Because this is where you're being invited to heal.

Because the more that you bring in those  Those shadowy parts of you, those voices, those reactions, those wounds, when you integrate them into your wholeness, then you start seeing the opposite, the paradox of why you went through that, right? Like, I have so many examples, actually.  I don't, do I tell you this?

Do I wait? Oh, I had,  oh, I had a download  when I was at the laundromat with Nikolai on Friday. That came through  So loud that I cannot believe I had never had this thought before of an of an offer so i'm thinking of making a E book, actually, we'll see, where I share stories for attuning to yourself, um, and I'm still playing with the idea, but I have so many stories that act as spiritual transmissions for awakening, and because the story is basically the way that we share language and history, right, are through stories because they're memorable, because we can put ourselves in them, I'm thinking of doing this, so we'll see, we'll just drop that there and just let it be.

I'm not going to promise anything, but I'm like, wow, that was a really loud download, you know? And now I just got myself off track with what I was talking about. Shadow. Oh, okay, so, when we think about the solar flares that are coming, we're having them increasingly because they are, um, Um, actually integrating both with Gaia, with our planet, but also with our, our bodies, we are learning how to hold more light.

And the way that you hold more light is by integrating your shadows, right? And every shadow that you have actually is a gift. It's a piece of wisdom. It's a profound healing. Maybe it's a releasing or a freeing that can happen. And you, so that's why everything is so.  amplified right now so loud is because we are being invited to integrate and to love ourselves more deeply and more compassionately and also to see through contrast what it is that we no longer want to deal with well what it is we truly want that's actually one of the gifts of contrast is to know to see the opposite to know of actually what you truly do want so i actually i said actually like a thousand times  That's cool, whatever. 

I made that weird and that's gonna stay in there too. Great. Um,  Ooh, uh,  I I had realized, like,  if you know and you've followed in my story up until now, you know that I asked to go part time in Corporate America. And, uh, Corporate America, my friend Lisa is like, why don't you just call it Corporate? And I'm like, true, it's not like Corporate Australia, it's, uh, it's all the same system. 

But,  uh, shout out Lisa, I love you so much, okay? Uh, This process has shown me exactly what I do not want at all, at all, at freaking all. And I could have told you this earlier in my corporate journey, but this one so much so that I'm realizing if I were to stay in the corporate system, what I do want and how I could bend this role to more support my gifts and what I can bring to a company, like truly bring to a company if I were to leave this role.

Like now I know, like nervous system regulation, teaching them. You know how to work with their anxiety and helping with burnout and not even just that, like, how do you create communication strategies so that your employees feel heard and want to stay right so that you reduce turnover so that people rave about your culture so you win awards that you can continue to call in and retain top talent, like all of these different things that I wasn't able to see when I was in my, like, myopic vision or my tunnel vision of just raging the fuck out about why am I here.

But my epiphany is that I was, I was invited and placed back into a system that needs a lot of light. And who better than me, honestly?  With my ability to derail meetings for a positive purpose and impact, I swear, okay? I swear. Um. And being able to articulate things, and to craft messages, and to work with executives, and to speak in ways that help them find their voice, and to help them create connection, and to create meaningful work, and how do you, all these things, now I'm like, oh, and it's so Age of Aquarius, I'm in Aquarius Rising, which is so fun, and being in the Age of Aquarius, and I think it's Aquarius, it is Aquarius season right now, um, getting to be in place, be placed in a system where I can help revolutionize it,  I can help revolutionize the system should they be wise enough to listen, and if they don't, like, it's not my, it's not my job, like, that's okay, but I can plant seeds in people now, even if I'm not here to carry them out, I can plant feedback, I can share ideas, I can give solutions to things, and if, I'm not the one carrying them out, then that is perfect.

And I wonder if that's something similar for you, if you're in systems or in places where you don't absolutely want to be there, but maybe there's a, a hidden underlying meaning that, that you, or a reason that you couldn't see yet,  because the higher perspective shows you more, right? It gives you a more expanded view.

So if you allow yourself to sit with your rage and frustration and your anger, anything that you're dealing with, that feels like lower frequency, lower vibration, you allow yourself to sit with it.  Even if it's uncomfortable, this is where you can start seeing, oh, what is, what is a part of me trying to tell me?

Right? Like, what is, what's so frustrating about X, Y, Z? Go deeper. What's the deeper thing? Like, this is actually really great for journaling, is like writing this stuff out and then asking yourself, why? Why do I feel that way? Why? Why do I feel that way? Why? Um, and then seeing what actually the truth of what your unconscious mind wants to share with you.

Because when you go deeper,  it, Okay. It, it becomes so much clearer and the moment you hit it, you hit the core belief, it almost becomes nonsensical or you have this epiphany or this awareness that helps you see things from a new perspective or a new lens. That's my favorite thing. I love breakthroughs. I love stabilizing breakthroughs and being able to have new ideas.

I'm always contemplating my life. Maybe that's not the healthiest thing, but also it brings me a lot of joy because that's why I'm even here on Insightful with you is because I develop my own ideas or my own epiphanies and then I'm like, maybe if I share this one person Could take it and run with it or maybe they'll have like a slight shift or they'll look at something differently And then that way that's how I feel like I'm making an impact, you know, like that's what I want to do Is I want to help people love themselves more deeply completely and wholly.

That's all I want to do That's why I would I was getting so frustrated in this job because I'm like God  I just want to love people like why can't you let me do that? And then the higher perspective is why not be a force of light in a very dark system  Why not be just a minute of joy in people's lives?

Why not, when feeling called, share a single piece of information that maybe has someone look at something a little bit differently? Right, and maybe I'm making all this up, and I am just, you know, off my rocker, which is, you know, totally fine. I know people who think of me that way because of the things I believe in, which is cool.

And I'm not out here judging other people's beliefs, just saying, because I know that judgment is a reflection back to me, and then I'm taking it personally because that's how your subconscious mind works, and I'm talking so fast right now.  Okay,  thank you for letting me rant. Vent? Is there a positive way? 

I don't know. I feel like you'll know.  Another thing I wanted to share with you that I thought was just so cool. So last week or a week earlier, my mom called me and she was like, Ash, have you heard of the Rosen method? And I was like, no, tell me what this is. And she said, well, a tenant in her life because my mom.

Runs this gorgeous luxury apartment building and she puts on events and all this stuff to raise the energy all this stuff It's really really cool Um, also hi mom. I love you so much. Thank you for listening  Um  Oh, there's that um, so, and there's that so, fa, la,  ti, do,  okay.  She told me about this woman, her name's Kelly, Kelly lives in, where my mom does, in this charming town, right?

And so I immediately, I'm like, okay, anytime people tell me about things like healing modalities or practitioners, I go look them up just because spirit loves to work through people. And I am grateful to be on the receiving end, you know? So I look up this woman and I'm like, Like, very curious. And you have to text her to set up a time, which I'm not a fan of,  but I'm like, you know what?

It's going to be worth it. So I set up my 90 minute initial consultation.  And the thing about the Rosen method that's so cool is basically it's like somatic strategies to help release stuck energy or to help you go deeper into, um, emotional. Uh, things that you have,  I don't want to say trapped in your body, but that you've left in your body or that your body has held on to.

That's a better way to say it. The emotions and the pain and things that your body has held on to so that A, it has a memory of it and you know, water is consciousness. So you know, um, or you create a block in your body in order to not feel it, or you create some sort of, pain or something that alerts you to let you know that you have this happening and to release it, right?

Because the body is going to ring the alarm because it is your part of your unconscious mind and so it's trying to tell you these things are here. So  I have this session with Kelly and it's a 90 minute session and I walk through the doors and, and it's in her home, right? And I'm like, man, this is kind of weird, but whatever.

I walk in and the moment I walk through her door, it feels like peace.  And this beautiful woman walks out and she welcomes me in her home and I see this gorgeous carpet That's kind of like coral and red and then she has two white sofas facing each other and we just sit and we talk Like we're friends and it is beautiful.

Okay She's telling me about the rosin method and how it's like somatic and how she'll be it's all silent, right? So everything is silent and helps you attune more fully to your body It's kind of like a massage, but it's not and i'll explain that in a moment So I'm getting to know her and I'm like very animated, very excited talking to her about the traumas and the things that I've walked through and, you know, my hopes for going through this work with her, you know, like one of them is spiritual expansion, right?

Because when you let go, let go of what the body is holding on, you create more space in your body. You create the opportunity to flow in more loving aligned energy because you're not holding on to things. You're not tense. As an example, I noticed like I have me Um, things that I'm working on healing, but I have only recently started really feeling like my left knee and then this extreme tightness in my right hip, right?

And I'm like, there's obviously something energetic here because I do meditation. I do yoga. I go for walks. Like I do, um, movement and I love dancing, all this stuff. And I'm like, there's clearly something here. Granted, like, hey. If you're listening, I'm not a doctor. I don't do anything about doctor things.

I'm not a specialist or a physician or any of any kind. If you have any medical issues, you see a professional, a medical professional that you trust, okay?  A psychological person, uh, I don't even know, a counselor, a therapist, see a medical licensed professional for anything.  Okay, and this is my story.  So I walk in, I have this chat with her.

She's lovely. I can feel just this calmness to her. I'm like, oh, she is coherent, right? So I'm sitting here talking to her and then I'm telling her blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, okay, so you're gonna step into this room, which is where her massage table is at, and you're gonna take off everything except for your underwear.

You're gonna go under this sheet. Okay. But one of my favorite things is that in this room, this small, beautiful, cozy, safe, feeling room,  She has a stained glass window and it is stunning and there were,  oh god, there are rainbows everywhere. Right at the head like where your head would be just rainbows Splashed across the wall and over part of her massage table And I just I was like what are the odds of this and she was like, it's really interesting because for so many days It's been so dark and gloomy that we haven't had any light to be able to make these and I was like, oh my god This is so divine.

So I'm on the table and She's pushing into certain parts of my body and like certain muscles and certain Areas, and as she's sitting there holding it, I can feel energy moving. Like as an example, she was pushing at this certain part in my body and holding it. And then I felt, or like on my left side, I felt my entire leg.

Like tremble and shake and twitch and then I felt her push another part of my body and there were waves of energy Rolling through my stomach. It was just the weirdest thing She would touch one thing and a part of my hand would twitch off the table But one of my favorite things that she did Because this is in silence, outside of the few times, she will push and she'll hold and she'll ask what are you noticing now?

And in that I'm like how,  how dissociated I am from my body I did not realize, right? It's a coping mechanism, um, that I'm actively working on but I didn't realize it until she's pushing and holding and asking me what do you notice in your body? So I could relay I'm feeling this twitch in my left leg, um,  Like, I'm feeling this shooting energy in my neck, so as she was working, and she got further and further down, she got to like,  my lower back, and she was pushing in, and I swear to you, for the first time in my life, at the bottom part of my spine, on my left side, I felt so Much radiating pain energy there.

I felt it. It was like it wasn't moving It was stuck in what is left. Divine feminine, right? Your inability to receive, to Surrender, to you know, like  to be a force of creation Like oh, and I just didn't I didn't feel it until that moment and I'm like, wow, no shit Like this is a tangible thing I can understand And so through this process, um, outside of that part, she was pushing down on another, she was pushing down on another part of my body, you know, and as she was there, she pushed in just a little bit deeper.

And she said, you came in very animated today, very high energy.  Can you notice that there is a quietness  in your body?  And as she was pushing there, because this was like so far into the session, I did notice my, my mind was completely blank.  And there was just this peace,  this incredible centered peace,  and it was kind of like my body was being heard for the first time. 

And from that silence,  I heard the voice of my soul. It was so clear  and so loving, and it said,  this is me.  And I knew it because it felt like it came from my heart.  Like the core of my being the core of my heart and soul and it was just this beautiful clear voice That I often tune out or only hear very rarely Although now I'm trying to make a much more consistent effort on at least 10 to 15 minutes of meditation or silence a day Because you don't know what you're missing when you can't hear yourself  See and I mean this from the fullness of my being we are taught to be distracted We're taught to have you you Be fragmented in your thought processes, where you're taught and conditioned to live in fear and to live in a survival body, right?

Your fight, flight, fawn, fear response, the way that you may be numb out, the way that your brain is scattered, the way that we're taught to live with anxiety like it's a badge of honor, this busyness bullshit, and yet it's the silence for where you can be heard, you know, like that's the gift. We just need to create time and honor it and really what we're saying. 

Is create time for yourself to be with you because that's how you're gonna hear yourself more clearly That's where the magic is right instead of pushing and hustling and and stressing and worrying and living in anxiety And what is the state of the world and  it's like, okay, actually I'm just gonna be right  here  And I'm gonna sit with what are the thoughts coming through and just letting them float up Because they're going to because they want to be heard or because they're on a programmed loop, right?

So if you can sit and just see what the thoughts are that are coming up without needing to do anything about it Without taking action on them immediately without taking yourself out into all of these little thoughts That spin into narratives and stories and whatever just see it almost like  Every thought is a balloon  and you just, you, you hold the balloon with the thought and you let it go. 

Trusting and knowing that you will receive exactly what you're meant to, if that thought is meant to come back to you and you're meant to do something with it, you will. Can you trust yourself to hold that?  And I mean that, can you trust yourself? To hold that, that knowing that you will receive exactly what you're meant to when you're meant to, okay?

And if it helps you feel any better, maybe just getting like a piece of paper and a pen and, and if you feel so like you have to do it now, you just write out the thought on your journal or on a piece of paper and then you just let it go.  Okay? Because creating spaciousness in your body to hear yourself is the gift that you can give the world.

And yet, it requires you to be with yourself and to say, I love myself so much that I'm gonna take five to ten to plus however many minutes to be with me. Because so often, everyone comes before us and that is a fucking problem.  Because you did not come here to live anyone else's life. You came here to live yours.

And you might as well live in alignment with your heart. And your truth. And you might as well create the space to hear yourself. Because you are overflowing with wisdom and magic. You really are. You are an incredibly powerful being. You just have to treat yourself like that. Okay? So, I, I don't even know.

I have so many other things, but I also have volleyball tonight and I have to go play volleyball because I promised myself that I would play more and this is one of the ways that I'm playing is by being on a team and not doing anything with business or work. So give me two snaps for that baby. Hey, thank you.

I hope you have a wonderful day and I love you so, so, so much.