Reclaim the spark

There's a quiet revolution happening within so many of us: a shift away from chasing success and toward reclaiming joy, intuition, creativity, and connection.

Because what if the path to your purpose wasn’t paved with productivity, but with joy? What if your worth had nothing to do with what you produce ... and everything to do with who you are?

This episode is for those who feel the pull to living more soulfully, more intuitively, and more freely!!

My loving reminder: You were truly created to shine, and the world needs your light, exactly as it is. :)

Note: I lose my train of thought a few times. I like to think of them as little brain glitchies when I interrupt the flow. 🤣

If you're curious about my beautiful friend Christina, here's her episode on The Free Your Heart Podcast. :)

Transcript

 Hello, hello! I had to jump on here because I just had a chat with my friend Christine, and Christina's actually been on my Free Your Heart podcast, by the way. She's a brilliant, evidential, medium and intuitive guide, and she was telling me about how she had just had a client who, she had this offer. She didn't really tell anyone about where it was like honing your psychic gifts.

And I was like, like, what? This is so cool. And she was like, yeah, because her and I actually let a. Mediumship class. That's a whole other story, which was so fun. Oh my god, it was so fun. But back to Christine where she said like by the third session, her client was like sharing messages with her and all this stuff, and I'm like, oh my God, this is fricking awesome.

Okay. Like, this is so cool. So she's been on my podcast. She's one of the first episodes on that one. She sta, she shares stories about her life, her gifts, like how it's through her lineage, things she's experienced, like, oh my gosh, she's such a gift. But one of the things that's so magical about. Out this woman is that I always leave feeling lighter.

I always feel. Lit up. I feel so full of life and I think it's because our energy ping pongs back and forth and we will ride the waves and we will work through or share like the struggles. And then we always like, we always find a way to leave feeling like, holy fuck, I'm high on life. And tho like those friendships.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Like, these are the things, man. Like this is what, this is what makes life so sweet. Oh, when you find people like that, and I have a few of them, maybe I'll just do little features about all of 'em, you know, because holy buckets. Let me just, uh, share the magic with you, but. One of the things that was so cool today when I was talking with her, and I wasn't even gonna do an insightful podcast episode until tomorrow because I was like, I don't have energy today after working my job and being in traffic and la la la la, la.

And then I had this chat with Christine and I was like, oh yeah, this is who I am. Like. I share things, but I was telling her it's interesting because I was like, I just don't feel like I'm that good of a storyteller. And that's on the heels of me releasing this podcast episode with Mackenzie that's on the Free Your Heart podcast, where we were talking about her storytelling genius and all of these things.

And I, I look up to Mackenzie because she's a wonderful storyteller and also because she brings in. A lot of aligned clients through this genius, you know? And I'm just like, wow, that is so cool. So I worked with her privately. For a month, just because I was curious and because I really like to hear how people's brains work, and I like having one-on-one intimate access to people so I can ask whatever the hell I wanna ask and stuff.

You know, it was just my jam and I was telling Christine, I'm like, I just feel like I'm not that good of it. But then I'm listening to Christine talk about the things she's experiencing and the clients she's walked with, and I, I was like, holy God. I could write stories for this for days. I know exactly how I would start this.

I know the, like, I would deepen the emotion here so that people would feel it. Like I could hear all these things in my head and I was telling her, it's so funny because I feel like I have a block when I talk about my own, like client stories and things like that, and I, I like. I get so stuck because I'm like, oh, I don't know where to start, or I don't know which part, which part of our session or breakthrough is the most important?

Why? What would make people care you? Isn't that funny? But as I was talking to her, I had an epiphany and I was like, oh, I believe that good storytellers are people who make good money. Bringing in clients in that way. That's the only way you're a really good storyteller, unless you're like a New York Times bestselling publishing author or whatever.

Isn't that hilarious? And it, that's why it's so helpful to have like a mentor or someone to walk with who can help you process these things out loud or reflect things back to you. So I was sharing this with her because that's part of our relationship is we walk with each other hand in hand, like.

Sometimes I'm in the coaching role or the healing role, and sometimes it's reversed, but we all like, there's just this effortless balance of it. I have another friend I do this with too. Um, her name is Lisa. I'll share more about her in another episode. Like I just have these, oh, even my, oh God. I have so many people I've cultivated, truly a community of, of brilliant, magnificent humans, but, and mm words.

I was telling Christine this and she was like, wait, what? Why you really think that? And I was like, yeah. And she was like, you're a genius storyteller. And I was like, that's what friends would say. And she was like, how did we meet? And I was like, oh, we were in a storytelling group together that we paid for.

And the homework was you had to get on and share a story. And I shared one casually or whatever, and she messaged me and she was like, I feel like we could be friends. And then we became friends and we're friends for years. She's like, she's a soul sister, man. We call each other solely. Uh, but if I never shared that story, I wouldn't have met her, you know, because she lives in Australia.

It's also weird because a lot of my really good friends live in Australia. Oh. Or the South, which is fun, but. I thought that that's a really, that's such an important thing. But she was like, you are a genius storyteller. You do this with such ease, all this stuff. And I was like, but I'm not making hundreds of thousands of dollars doing this and I'm not booked out and blah, blah, blah.

And then I was like, oh yeah, actually, what am I focused on now? It's different. I changed my focus. Actually, I don't know if I've shared this with you. I also had this thought on my walk. I'm taking us on a journey. Thank you for listening. Where I was like, oh, my thoughts just left my brain. We're blank.

We're a blank batty right now. Oh no, it, it's coming back. I feel it's reeling back in. One of the things on my walk, I was like, man, I have been living in an interesting way. Like I've been focused on the wrong things and wrong from a perspective of not aligned. So, oh, this was the other thought. Oh my god, all my thoughts are jumbling together.

Beautiful. And it just left oh fuck to be a human. The thought that like our, we're trained for capitalism, right? Like that's what we're conditioned in because capitalism, and if you didn't know we're on its last gasp right now. That's why everything is so dark, is because this system is actively crumbling before us and we are feeling the squeeze of it, if not even more so coming up.

Because we need to change money in the frequency and the way we align to wealth and the current of energy and things like that. And I believe that the future of our world is going to be rooted in wisdom and love and how we care for each other and the gifts that we naturally have, and creating space and time to be able to cultivate these things and to bring them through and to share them with people in a way where we all thrive.

I totally believe that. I know that in the core of my being, I just know it. We're watching the end of such deep conditioning that it's interesting that I'm like, you're only a good storyteller really, depending on how many, you know, how much money you make. And you know, if you're a good storyteller, you're probably have like hundreds of thousands of millions of followers and all that stuff, and I'm just not there.

And that must mean X, Y, z about me. And yet, actually the key to everything, my friend, is joy. I have been focused on how much money can I make to feel safe and stable? How much money is it gonna take for me to feel that, to know that, to experience that, to create. From that, what I'm saying is, if I make X amount of money at this place, then I'll feel safe to create what I really wanna create.

And then I get to this place and I'm like, well, what do I wanna create? And I'm like, well, how much money can I make? Isn't that funny? And. I was like, man, I, I feel like I shouldn't share that because like, what, kind of, like, how can you, how can you. Live that way, but then that's just your conditioning. You know, like how many people are just trying to survive because we were forced to be in a system that told you that your value is in this currency that we made up.

It's so funny and the earth is like, Hey, we got, we got food here, we got sunlight, we got water. If you feel like taking care of it, you know, like it's all here for you. You don't have to be in these systems doing these. Things if, if the collective chooses to change this. 'cause you know, only a few people are hoarding the wealth.

And I actually heard a quote that it's like, you don't become a billionaire really, unless you do unethical things. How do you get to a status of billions and why? And you look at people who have all of this money, all of this quote unquote safety, all of this stuff, and you're like, you're gonna spend your money on sending a rocket.

Somewhere to the atmosphere you're gonna spend money on trying to get to Mars. Even though we should be focusing our, our energy and our collective influence and all of our, our currency on healing our planet and living in alignment and supporting each other. And then I'm like, oh yeah, I'm, I'm thinking about the future.

That's what I'm tapping into. Like that's where we're going. And it may not look like it right now, but like things are shifting. You can see the cracks, you know, so. I was thinking, what if instead of chasing money, I chased joy? What would I create from Joy? Instead, what would feel joyful to make? What would feel exciting?

What feels alive in me? What do I wanna speak to that feels so like raw or deep or expansive or fun or whatever? Like what is that? You know, instead of. What I was like, okay, well how much can I charge in order to be able to, you know, help pay for part of my business and help pay the 30% amount that I have to put towards taxes?

That people don't understand that that's part of the thing of being a business owner. And then you also have credit card fees, and then you have these software fees if you have that, or platform fees or whatever. These things are like, people don't understand all of that in the pricing, you know, and then it's like, oh.

And then if people don't buy, and then you're like, well, why did I even make that? No. Instead of, what if I created something just for the joy of it, what would I do? What would I make? Like, what would be, oh my God, what would that be? And now when you think about that, like the true core nature of who you are is joy, period.

That's exactly who you are at. The most fundamental core of you is that, and it's not to say that you are, if you're walking with grief or sadness or you have this edginess, this rawness, this power to you, this, you know, your ability to work with the darkness or whatever that is, like, whatever that is at the true core essence of you is joy.

Creation. That's why when you find things that make you feel alive, you have to pay attention to it. You have to because you're seeing a piece of you reflected, and I know I did this on a, um, a reel or whatever. So if you watch us already, that's, thank you for watching me. A hey. But also repetition builds neural pathways.

I just lost my thought because I'm a human and so many things are running around. What was my reel about? Come back to me. This is gonna be an interesting episode. That's okay. Oh, I got it. Yay. I just needed to give myself space. That's probably another lesson too, is like where can you give yourself space?

To think and process and hear yourself, even if it's awkward or weird, or you're like, uh, what is this even valuable for people to listen to? And it is because I've decided it's so, people are in a place right now where they are like, I don't know what to do with my life. I know this is not it. I know it's not, it.

I don't like doing this. I have like the Sunday scaries or the Sunday sads. I, I hate this. I don't wanna do this anymore. I dread doing this. I like this project, these types of people working with them. Not the jam, this type of work, not the jam, these things, I can't stand it, you know? And then you wonder why you're exhausted or frustrated or depressed, and it's because that energy is trying to tell you something about you if you have the ears to hear yourself.

When you feel those things, they're messages from inside of you saying, come inside. Like, listen to me. I have something to tell you. Please. But then we feel the feelings and then we sit in it, and then we keep like these perpetual patterns going and we keep doing it because of our conditioning that tells us you can't do this thing because it's not safe for, you can't do this because the economy, or you can't do this because someone once told me that I'm not good enough, or I've internalized that and that means that I can't ever do this, or I can't try, or I can't, you know, like we.

We talk ourselves out of our brilliance because the world that we're in right now doesn't want you to believe that you're, that isn't that interesting? And it's not the world, it's not the collective of humanity. It's that our programming and conditioning and those who have created this matrix like atmosphere that we are in right now, they don't want you to shine.

They want the people to shine. Who are the ones who pedal capitalism, who pedal the hustle and the grind in pain. They want that. Even though our nature is ease and flow and joy and creation, that's why like isn't it interesting that the arts are the first thing to get cut when there are budget problems?

Even though art is where you find yourself in whatever medium that is, you being the medium for the medium to hear yourself. Isn't that interesting? The painting goes away, the singing, the writing, the poetry, the clay, like all of that stuff goes away. We take that from children first. Because we're like, you know what makes more sense, science and math?

And sure, it totally does, but that's only part of the story. Yes, you can learn about yourself through math, but you can learn about yourself through singing and what it's like to harmonize with other people and what it's like to sing your own song. You know, like it's the arts, it's the space you create for yourself to meet yourself in those spaces and places of creation.

So what do you wanna create? What have you been hedging on? What have you been afraid of doing? Because it won't make the money, you think, because it's already like, no one's ever done anything like this, or it's already been done, but it hasn't been done by you. You know? Like where have you stopped yourself from making something that you have felt called or starting something or just doing something for the fun of it?

Like, why don't we do that anymore? Why? Because we live in a system that doesn't want you to have fun. It doesn't want you to be imaginative and creative and playful and joyful because that's such a high frequency. The system we're in right now wants you to be in such a low level frequency that you numb out from your entire life so you don't create new things so that you follow what they want you to do to continue to do the.

Consumerism and buying and alcohol and trying to numb from your life or distract yourself or you know, I was having a conversation. Um, with a client who she was talking about, my God, I just, I only have so much time after working all day and then trying to get an exercise in, and then I have to feed my kid and my husband and, you know, whatever they need.

And then at the end of the night, after bath time, I only have so much time to either write my book that I so want to. Or to do something for me, but by that time I'm exhausted. So what do I do? I scroll on my phone, of course, because your brain wants dopamine. It wants to feel like it has some sort of control, and they call that revenge bedtime procrastination.

By the way,

we create, like we live in these systems and then we give our power away because we believe we're disempowered, because we've been taught to believe that, and yet people are waking up every day. You know, they wake up through their art, they wake up through the spaciousness. They give themselves to meditate or to go for a walk, or to just sit and be, or to take the bath or whatever that is.

You know, that's why it's not just about self care, you know, they're like, oh, it's not all bubble baths and things like that. But it kind of is not even, not even in just that vein, you know, but like in the whole system of things. And it's so important for you to find what makes you feel alive. Find what feels good.

As Adrian, one of my favorite yoga teachers, that's her brand. Find what feels good. But people are like, well, if it doesn't make me money, then I can't do it. And then I'm gonna be in this job and I'm, and then they take themselves out of even the idea of dreaming. And isn't that a brilliant part of the quote unquote matrix that we are all truly dismantling because we are beings of light who are choosing to live differently?

What would you create for the joy of it? What would you do? How would you play? Those are the frequencies where you find yourself. So if you are in this liminal space, the void, the in between, and everything feels dark, and you feel like you have no direction, you lack clarity. It's like, where the hell do I go from here?

I don't know. Nothing makes me feel, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is when you come back home to yourself, and what that means is you do something that feels good in the moment for you. And I don't mean like scrolling on TikTok, you know, or. Instagram or whatever that is. It's like, what can you do for you that makes you feel good?

That's. Helping you discover something more about yourself. You know, like you have no idea what one conversation with a friend could do for you or who you could meet because you chose to take a walk. You know, like you have no idea. And we have these little whisperers, I was gonna say whisperings, because I was gonna say whisper and inklings.

Whisperings. We have these little whisperings that float into our consciousness and it's like, you should read that chapter. And then you're like, I can't read that chapter. I gotta do the dishes down. If I don't do the dishes, I'm blah, blah, blah. Or it'll be like, you should go sit in the sun for like three minutes and you're like, I can't do that because I have a meeting in 10 minutes and I have to prep for the meeting.

And it's like, okay, but you have three minutes to sit in the sun. And what if in that three minutes because you listened to yourself and you sat in the sun and you let the sun bathe you in these codes, maybe you have an idea. Or maybe you recharge your little battery, you know, like what? That would be good too.

Or you just say, I'm worthy of sitting in spaciousness with myself. I'm worthy of taking time, a moment in time for me. This is my life time. How do I wanna spend it? How do I wanna spend my life time? How do you spend your time? I hope that you let yourself create or you start something. Or maybe you've always wanted to take a cooking class or dancing class or painting or, or you wanted to get back into choir.

Like my future sister-in-law? No, both of them. Both of them are in choirs and I admire it so much. I used to be in choir. And when I was in high school and stuff, and then I got out of it partially because I don't like when the choir director picks certain songs and I'm like, Ew. But I understand why Now I understand why they do that from a different perspective, because age and experience, you know?

But the thought of, I actually on Sunday went to, uh, my future, one of them, her name is Carol. She was in a choir. She was in the choir, and she had a concert and it was, the theme was for the love of music. And I'm listening to these songs and they're just, they're crushing it, man. And I'm sitting there and I didn't know, but Carol had a solo and she's sitting there singing this song and I had no idea the vocal chords in that woman.

And I was like, this is what an angel sounds like when they sing. Like I just know it and she made me cry and I don't like really cry at music really, ever. And when that happened I was like, this is so important and it's because I got to watch her in her joy. I've, and that's like my favorite thing. I love watching people do what makes them feel lit up.

Like what makes them feel free, you know? And in that moment it was like we all got to be in bliss. We all got to watch her do that. And maybe that's not you. Maybe you're not into choir or anything, but maybe you love. To paint or maybe you love writing poetry or, or whatever that is. You know, like we just stop ourselves from allowing ourselves the gift of learning more about who we are through mediums like that, you know, or whatever that is.

'cause you can do this in any multitude of ways, but a lot of people feel like they're in the dark right now, and it's because the darkest, fertile ground. The dark is where seeds are planted before they bloom, and you water those seeds by allowing yourself the grace and the opportunity to follow your heart.

And I know we've talked about this and we'll talk about it till the end of time. Your heart is the portal to your soul and it's trying to tell you things, but we tune it out because we think it's like a, we may have never heard it before. Understood. That's what it sounds like, or that's what it feels like.

Right. We say, well that's not logical and it's 'cause your heart isn't logical. Seriously. Just think about that. It's not logical 'cause it's not your brain, it has its own brain. That brain is rooted in emotions, right? You carry specific wounds that you can feel in your body, the heartbreak, stuff like that.

And you also feel the joy of getting lost in the moment where you are like, how did time? Move so quickly. What was that? So if you feel lost and you're frustrated because you want the next step, maybe this step is being birthed through you now. Maybe you just allowing yourself to be a human being that isn't a fricking robot that has to do all these things all the time.

That has, like me, I'm maybe just talking to myself of having to strive and hustle and try to make things happen and try to figure out the next step. And if I know the whole picture, then I know I'm safe. Right? If I have the whole picture, I know the exact steps. And then when I do that, then I'm like, yay, I did it.

Check the box. And yet your soul is like, Hey, if you were wondering, we came here to learn and expand through experiences, and we're going to give you those experiences and you are going to see, oh, and then you get to learn more about yourself. And maybe it's chaos or maybe it's smooth sailing. All are valid.

If you let it happen, and that's like you have to let it happen. So again, if it's dark and you're feeling lost, what are little things that your heart are like trying to guide you to? What are the things you're curious about? What are the things that you feel passion for that make you feel this like fire in your soul?

What are those And. If it feels too big, what's one thing or even a tiny step you can take, because every single time you take one step, the next step is revealed. I know this. I'm living this. I swear to you like it'll probably be in a book someday. The things that are happening in my life, and it's because I'm, I've learned that the magic is in uncertainty.

The magic is in the void. The magic is actually in not knowing, because when you don't know, life can surprise you. And there's something about being surprised that is magnificent because when you are back as a soul, when you're no longer this beautiful human version of you, that we are so lucky to exist with each other right now.

When you are no longer this version of you, you are back in spirit. You remember everything. You have access to everything. You can go to the Akashic realm or to whatever beings, and you can learn from them, and you probably already do, especially in the astral, you know? But like when you do that, you know everything.

Well, what? Well, what happens when you exist for eternity? That's why Earth School is incredible because you get to forget. And you get to experience and you get to climb mountains and swim in oceans, and you get to hold your loved ones and you get to eat ice cream, and you get to smell flowers, and you get to write poetry, and you get to hear your soul, and you get to see.

You know, hardship and pain and difficulty, and you get to feel that, and you get to feel connection, and you get to see the silver lining and you get to see rainbows and you like, there's so many things like you get to love a dog or a fish or whatever like you get, ugh. It's so magical to be a human, even when it's hard and difficult and challenging and confronting and painful and you were like, life is so good that I would die for it.

Life is so beautiful that I would come here and willingly put myself through a school that I would actually have to leave. I know I'm gonna have to leave, and it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. And I know that maybe not everyone can receive that because they don't. Believe, like they believe they're gonna go to only heaven and be there for eternity and maybe have like 72 spouses and things like that.

I was, you know, I was just watching a whole thing about, um, polygamy and stuff. That's why that's top of mind. So I'm sorry if I made that weird, but it was, it's there. To be a human is a gift, and I think that we forget that. And to be a human means that you get to go through trials and tribulations and you get to walk through fire and you get to experience magic and, and I just, I just wanted to share that today, and I don't know why, but Christine really moved me when she reflected.

Me back to myself and I was like, I bet so many people can relate to this, where you feel like you're not good enough or you shouldn't do the thing because it won't make you money, or because it won't be worth because you have an underlying belief or whatever. And you talk yourself out of your bigness.

You talk yourself out of your shine, and yet that's exactly why you're here. So if you remember that the one thing that we all all have in common is that someday we're all gonna die. That's the truth. That's what it is. Because you probably may not wanna be this version of you for eternity. You may wanna go and experience what it's like to be a rock or a platypus or maybe, um, an interdimensional octopus.

I have no idea. The world doesn't know, but you maybe know as a soul or a flower. What if you came back as a flower? Oh my God, that would be so cool. It is magical to be you if you allow yourself to be. And I think that's the key. So I'm gonna leave that there. And I just also wanted to say thank you to everyone who messages me and shares their epiphanies or their breakthroughs or, um, people will send me things that I've said and I'm like, well, I said that, that, God dang, that's so cool.

Thank you because. It feels nice to be seen and to be heard and to know that my words live in you in some way. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. I'm not sure. But I created insightful because I wanted to learn more about my voice and I wanted to feel what it would be like to be free. And I was telling Christine that this is bar far, by far one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

Because I made insightful for the joy of it, not for anything else. And I want to give you permission to do the same and to know that if people judge you for it or if you don't get a hundred thousand views or. Whatever the metrics that you are told means then you're worthy of it or then you're successful.

None of that shit matters. What matters most is that if you feel the inspiration that is in spirit and you follow it, do not clinging to anything. Do not try to force, relax, trust that it's yours for a reason, because it is. And when you do that, that's when the steps appear. So thank you for listening to me.

I hope you have a wonderful magical day, and I love you so much. I.